We're back....Vacation Part 1

I know. It's been awhile. So what's been going on, you may ask? Well, let me tell you.

Vacation, my friends.

To where, you might ask?

Prepare to be jealous. Very jealous.

O-HI-O

Yes, you got that right. We went to OHIO. I know. You are swooning with jealousy.

Why Ohio, you may ask?

Amusement Parks.

Kids love them. Adults, not so much. And Husband INSISTS on seeing something new. Dollywood? Been there. Must. Do. Something. New.

So we did.

The drive. Uggh. 9 hours. 6 movies with Sir-Eats-A-Lot asking "How much longer?"

Answer: Too much

But I must say. It turned out well. 2 days at large amusement park. I swear, it rivals Magic Kingdom in size.

1 day at island in Lake Erie.

1 day at African Safari park feeding effing moose from the car, which served as our Safari vehicle.

1 day at water park, which is okay but not nearly as good as Holiday World.

1 day in Cleveland, going to zoo. That's another story.

So, pictures. Behold, the african safari.

Fun stuff. How about those roller coasters? Alex got to go on his first one that's a regular one. Yea for shoes which made him 46 inches!

The Roller Coasters there were INSANE. I mean, 17 of them. But the kids had fun.

I haven't recovered yet, though.

More in part II.

It's summer, ummm, yeahhhhhh...

So, my friends, my job is in edumacation, and that means, you know....

I get 11 weeks of quality time with the wee ones each summer. Let me repeat that, I get 11 weeks of quality time with the wee ones each summer.

I know, I know. Everyone wishes their job was as cool as mine, and they got 11 weeks with their wee ones.

Let me remind you that in order to get those 11 weeks, I have to put up with hundreds of students whose idea of fun is to try to sneak onto myspace or their cell phone at every possible available moment. And they are hormonal teenagers and pre-teens.

Remember middle school? Yeah, that's where I am. That's where I am.

Bet you're not so jealous now, Bizatch.

Back to the point of my story, what the hell to do with two wee ones when it's hot as hell here. This is the S.O.U.T.H. And that means that June through half of September is SWEATering. Yes, there's the pool (they Y, conveniently 1 mile away, sadly, only indoor swimming pool), but when you go every freakin' day, even your kids start getting bored.

And I have probably the only 9 year old in the history of the world who IS. NOT. INTERESTED. IN. GOING. TO. CAMP. (That's a long story, for another time, meh).

So, I did what every self-sufficient Mommy could do. I signed them up for Vacation Bible School.

Okay, I signed them up for 3 vacation bible schools, to be precise. Because, the way I figure it, you can't get enough Jesus. (and I can't get enough of a break from playing Uno for the 50th fucking time)

I was a little worried, because the first week was at, a, um, more evangelical church.

I usually run the other way when I hear that word, evangelical. But I must say, it was rather swanky as far as Vacation Bible Schools go. Hell, we just sang songs and colored pictures of Jesus. Sir-Eats-A-Lot made slime and jumped on some humongous inflatable that must of cost like $500 to rent.

Every day when I picked Sir-Eats-A-Lot up, I was careful to quiz him. You see, I wanted to see what those evangelicals had done to my son. Was there subliminal messages in the videos he saw? When you played the Vacation Bible School songs backward, did they say "Vote McCain or go to Hell"?

Me: What did you do in Vacation Bible School today, Sir-Eats-A-Lot?

S.E.A.L: Umm, we sang songs. We made slime. But the lady gave my slime to the other kid in my class, and she gave me his slime, and it's not as good. WAAAAAHHHHH.

Me: Okay, calm down, calm down, I have a very important question to ask you.

S.E.A.L: (expecting it to be Subway or McDonalds, he immediately gets it together) What, mommy?

Me: What do you think of the War in Iraq? Gay Marriage? Separation of Church and State?

S.E.A.L: That's 3 questions, Mommy. What's Iraq?

Me: (Wipes brow) Whew, that was a close one.


Actually, he had a great time. And he had a different one last week. But the next one isn't for a month. So I'm breakless this week until my husband, otherwise known as NFLfan, arrives home at 4:30.

On a completely different note, yes, I know, I don't have the cool custom heading that you guys have. Okay, I don't work in the summer and I don't get paid, hear? And when you decide to do something, well, I didn't want to wait any longer. I've been telling myself for a year of reading awesome blogs that I'm not worthy to join this group, that I'm not good enough. But, dammit, I'm doing this for me, hear? Not for anyone else, for me.

Let's Get It Started In Here...

Well, hell, I'm finally jumping on the blog wagon, so to speak. The truth (and not so sad) is, I spend at least an hour a day reading blogs. Mommy blogs. And, wow. There's a special fellowship there. For long, too long, I've been the kid at the window of a candy store, looking in.

And now I've decided. I'm going in.

Why now? Is it because I feel that it's summer and I don't work then? Do I think my thoughts and feelings are so important that they deserve to be broadcast all over the Internet? Do I want my children to read this when they are grown and see a different side to themselves?

Well, yeah. The fact is, our feelings, our words are valuable, just because they are our own. And why shouldn't we share that?

Here I am. Here I am. Here I am.