It's summer, ummm, yeahhhhhh...

So, my friends, my job is in edumacation, and that means, you know....

I get 11 weeks of quality time with the wee ones each summer. Let me repeat that, I get 11 weeks of quality time with the wee ones each summer.

I know, I know. Everyone wishes their job was as cool as mine, and they got 11 weeks with their wee ones.

Let me remind you that in order to get those 11 weeks, I have to put up with hundreds of students whose idea of fun is to try to sneak onto myspace or their cell phone at every possible available moment. And they are hormonal teenagers and pre-teens.

Remember middle school? Yeah, that's where I am. That's where I am.

Bet you're not so jealous now, Bizatch.

Back to the point of my story, what the hell to do with two wee ones when it's hot as hell here. This is the S.O.U.T.H. And that means that June through half of September is SWEATering. Yes, there's the pool (they Y, conveniently 1 mile away, sadly, only indoor swimming pool), but when you go every freakin' day, even your kids start getting bored.

And I have probably the only 9 year old in the history of the world who IS. NOT. INTERESTED. IN. GOING. TO. CAMP. (That's a long story, for another time, meh).

So, I did what every self-sufficient Mommy could do. I signed them up for Vacation Bible School.

Okay, I signed them up for 3 vacation bible schools, to be precise. Because, the way I figure it, you can't get enough Jesus. (and I can't get enough of a break from playing Uno for the 50th fucking time)

I was a little worried, because the first week was at, a, um, more evangelical church.

I usually run the other way when I hear that word, evangelical. But I must say, it was rather swanky as far as Vacation Bible Schools go. Hell, we just sang songs and colored pictures of Jesus. Sir-Eats-A-Lot made slime and jumped on some humongous inflatable that must of cost like $500 to rent.

Every day when I picked Sir-Eats-A-Lot up, I was careful to quiz him. You see, I wanted to see what those evangelicals had done to my son. Was there subliminal messages in the videos he saw? When you played the Vacation Bible School songs backward, did they say "Vote McCain or go to Hell"?

Me: What did you do in Vacation Bible School today, Sir-Eats-A-Lot?

S.E.A.L: Umm, we sang songs. We made slime. But the lady gave my slime to the other kid in my class, and she gave me his slime, and it's not as good. WAAAAAHHHHH.

Me: Okay, calm down, calm down, I have a very important question to ask you.

S.E.A.L: (expecting it to be Subway or McDonalds, he immediately gets it together) What, mommy?

Me: What do you think of the War in Iraq? Gay Marriage? Separation of Church and State?

S.E.A.L: That's 3 questions, Mommy. What's Iraq?

Me: (Wipes brow) Whew, that was a close one.


Actually, he had a great time. And he had a different one last week. But the next one isn't for a month. So I'm breakless this week until my husband, otherwise known as NFLfan, arrives home at 4:30.

On a completely different note, yes, I know, I don't have the cool custom heading that you guys have. Okay, I don't work in the summer and I don't get paid, hear? And when you decide to do something, well, I didn't want to wait any longer. I've been telling myself for a year of reading awesome blogs that I'm not worthy to join this group, that I'm not good enough. But, dammit, I'm doing this for me, hear? Not for anyone else, for me.